Prior to having our son, fulfilling my roles as a wife and a home owner was rather smooth and simple. As some things came naturally and others were quickly learned, I had to curate a system that worked for us. Today, that system is far from what it was! To be honest, I vaguely remember what it was after only a year of it having to change.
In our household we tag team tasks. There are some things my husband prefers to do and some things that I prefer to do. For instance, MEN FOLD LAUNDRY VASTLY DIFFERENT THAN WOMEN. This was never brought to my attention until one day while folding towels together, I noted an annoyance. My towels were folded matching edge to edge and each were placed smooth side to smooth side. HIS were folded and stacked— and that was THAT! There was nothing elegant or coordinated about my husbands towel folding, and I still remember how I itched to refold and arrange his pile. I did do so. We also had a conversation about our expectations and willingness of the matter. Since then he has shown MAJOR improvements. Although I prefer to do our laundry and he may have one or two towels turned opposite of majority of the pile, his effort and willingness matters most! He knows I love him, and his annoying towel folding only made me more attracted to him! The beauty in flaws. Weird, right?
Anyways, bringing our son into this world changed a lot of things (for the better that is) especially how things get done in our home. I had to learn not to be so picky about how I wanted things to be done and just role with the flow (I’m still working on this). My husband and I have an understanding that we both love to be clean and neat. The expectations just had to be brought down a tad bit because having a toddler consumes a lot of energy, time, patience, and attention. Who wants to waste any of that on things that matter least?
Below you will find a few tips that have helped us get through home chores now that we aren’t just married, but parents:
- Ask for help: This was hard for me because I like things done a certain way. But I had to remind myself I am one person and cannot do it all EVERY SINGLE DAY. It may be possible, but it’s not healthy. I still remember some close friends of mine who offered to come over for a girls night that included wine, pizza and them HELPING me clean! I didn’t take them up on this gesture but it was so sweet and thoughtful of them. We did have pizza and wine! I just never want to seem like I’m using my friends and I had never had anyone clean my home other than myself. But my perspective on that changed quick— thanks to my husband! (He gets a lot of credit in this post because he really is the real MVP!)
- Hire A Nanny or Hire a House Cleaner: in my culture this is taboo, but it is no longer a part of MY life. My husband suggested we hire a house cleaner when our son was a couple of months old and let me tell you: they can be affordable, there are good ones out there, and it was one of the BEST decisions we made! The feeling of a clean home is already refreshing but when someone else does it and does it right, it brings a heightened level of satisfaction!
- Schedule Tasks: Before our son came into this world, I could clean our entire home, wash and fold laundry, meal prep, and still have time for a workout and happy hour. Not anymore. I have to schedule when I clean, cook, and everything else. It’s a simple step that we often overlook. I’m still working on making this a habit but I have noticed a huge difference when I do.
- Make it therapeutic: This one may be challenging because a chore is chore just like work is work. However, we have a choice to set the type of vibes we want while doing any type of “work”— at home that is! I love listening to music or a book on audible while I cook! It’s one of my favorite times to listen to old hits, catch up new artists, or become captivated by a story!
- Be easy on yourself: I find it easy to become overwhelmed when house chores pile up around the house. I prefer things to be complete once started and in a timely manner. Well, that’s not always the case. Reminders of how important it is to take a breath, relax, and pick up where I left off when time permits pushes me through my temporary dissatisfaction and disappointment!
I hope this helps you as much as it helps me!
As someone who isn’t a mom or homeowner I can’t still attest to the benefits of hiring a professional cleaner. Ever so often I will schedule someone to come in and deep clean my apartment. it is such a refreshing feeling to have spotless hardwood floors, dusted and shiny cabinets, and clean floor boards. Awesome post!